My last walk was barely three miles along the local canal with a friend. Most of my walks are little walks now. But in my twenties I used to belong to a walking club in my locality. And there I learned a general principle. Where special clubs exist, there are typically three types of participant: rank amateurs, professionals and sadomasochists. We had no professionals, but some members wanted 15 plus mile treks, up hill and down dale in all weathers. Every high altitude trig point had to be visited. Every mire pushed through until you were thigh deep in mud. Every impenetrable woodland – whose owners ignored rights of way – had to be conquered out of principle. And there were those, like myself, who tagged along and barely survived. You see my idea then and now of a good walk is a pleasurable stroll ending in a country pub. I like to amble along level leafy lanes and past meadows full of lambs and pace slowly around country churches. For the extremists this wasn’t walking at all. Not even rambling. It was outdoor idling masquerading as outdoor pursuits.

So there was tension in our walking club. Before you ask, there were not enough people for two clubs. In the end as a compromise the club offered short ‘easy’ walks on weekday evenings and death marches on weekends. I wasn’t happy with this as I felt that there should be soft options on the weekend. My other heresy was advocating for more time sitting in the pub. That’s not to say that I don’t have other past-times where I’m the true believer nerd. Then I’m the one bemoaning others’ lack of commitment.

In my experience there is not a single activity, cause or ideology where there isn’t someone whose commitment seems extreme. They have all the expert recommended equipment, know all there is to know about the rules and stats since 1857. They both awe and bore with their enthusiasm. They also sacrifice huge time and effort running the little platoons of civil society. In most cases we should be very grateful for them. Without them, us amateurs and dilettantes – who can’t even be bothered to run for committee – would have nothing.

P.S. Before you worry about the internecine divisions in the walking community, please note there are external enemies that unite us. I’ve already mentioned landowners not respecting rights of way. But sometimes we have sympathy for them. Yes, there is a class of beings more despised by all walkers (indeed by all landowners too). I’m talking about morons who put their dog’s shit in a ‘poop bag’ only to hang it on a tree. Cursed be the true believers in the poop fairy.